I understand the pain and the feeling of being scared, all alone with no-one who understands what’s happening to you and why. I don’t want you to have to go through what I went through for so long. I want you to understand that you can live a happy, normal life and be yourself again.
For so long I was lost with no-one to turn to. I desperately wanted back the days where I was a free-willed soul, appreciating every moment I was alive. I wanted to get my life back. I also wanted to
- To be happy and not live in fear anymore
- To reduce the stress and anxiety in my life
- To get back my confidence
- To get excited about life
- To love life again
I have always been a highly energetic person, interested in doing new and exciting things. But one day when I was young and naive (like a lot of people), I went down the wrong path and got caught up in a whole new world, drugs.
As many people find, something that makes you feel good, makes you crave it more. Now as I mentioned, I’m a pretty energetic person, not quite A.D.D. but probably could get close (sometimes). One day I experimented a bit too much which put my highly-energetic personality into overdrive... Whoops, bet you didn’t see that coming? :-)
This is when I experienced my first panic attack. As you may be aware, this is one of the worst experiences ever. After that things started to go downhill, and fast!
Over time, I fell into a catch 22, of depression and needing something to pick me up, which at that time, were drugs. This put me into an even deeper depressed state, causing me to develop panic disorder, social phobia and all the other nasty side effects that go along with that.
I can remember one night, scared for my life, thinking deep dark thoughts of self harm, crying in bed as my whole body was shaking and sweating, coming to the realization that nobody was coming to help me, and it was going to be up to me. I was either going to do something bad to myself if I continued down this path, or I could choose to do everything it takes to get back on to my feet again.
My first step was, obviously, to....stop taking drugs. After that I began to learn about anxiety and depression. This pointed me in the direction of fitness, motivation, meditation, self-esteem and self-confidence which are what eventually saved my life.
THE TURNING POINT
In my quest to learn and do anything it took to get better, I happened to stumble across meditation and what I leant brought tears to my eyes, because it was the start of my recovery to living a happy, healthy life again. Meditation changed my life forever……………………………….
Meditation gave me the ability to see what was happening in my mind and noticing the negative effects drugs were having in my life. Noticing how dark and negative my thoughts had become.
This was the first time in my life I felt my mind slowing down… until all of a sudden, I only had the occasional thought slowly moving through my mind. This was such a change from the negative anxiety driven thoughts I was used to.
The day I learnt meditation was the day I learnt to escape from my mental prison. From that day forward I have used meditation to reclaim back my life. I have since become a qualified meditation teacher helping people with anxiety do what I found so hard to do, which was get my life back….
It has been nearly 20 years since being it that negative place. It hasn’t been an easy path, as the saying goes, two steps forward and one back. I honestly have to say I love my life and appreciate what I went through, because it has turned me into the strong, confident, driven man I am today. Without having gone through this experience I would probably still be living a life of fear and anxiety.
Guys (and girls if your reading this) please don’t be afraid to speak up. Early intervention is so important to minimise or prevent the development of anxiety disorders. So, have a chat with your doctor.
I hope you have enjoyed this post, and are able to take something away from it.
Take the first steps now. It starts with you. Inspiration From Within
It's brilliant that Adam found his way through life's difficulties and came out the other side. Sometimes it's about finding that one thing that connects with you and starts your journey to recovery. There might be something to help you in our Man-Kit. If you've found that one thing, what was it? Let us know in the comments below.
You can read more from Adam on his own website over at inspirationfromwithin.com. You can also keep up-to-date with him via Twitter, where he's @IFWithin or via his Facebook page, which is facebook.com/AdamIFW/