This morning I woke up pleased to be alive, but I've not always felt like this. You see, eight years ago my mental health was that bad that I didn't want to be here anymore. My OCD was that severe and my latest flare-up was that bad, that I just could not see a way out of it.
I was almost too frightened to breathe in due to worrying I would smell something contaminated.....AGAIN!. One thing got me through this though and that was believing in one thing, HOPE!
Hope is such a powerful concept. I am so happy I used its extraordinary power because my life right now is in the middle of changing for the better. If you are facing an extreme hard times at the moment, then I need you to believe in the power of hope too, because it will get you through, I promise.
I have had OCD since I was fifteen years old, but it went severe when I also developed emetophobia about eight or so years ago. I unknowingly sat in vomit at my local doctors surgery. I soon became a shadow of the person that I was.
I hid myself away from the world, scared that I would smell or witness vomit anywhere that I went. I have never known a harder period in my life, but again it was hope that got me through this. The hope that my life wouldn't always be like that. Hope that I will get a serious career and also eventually fall in love with somebody. I believed in hope because it was the only thing that I had left.
I went for help at the time, but without much success at first. The psychologist was out of her depth with me and the psychiatrist could not have been more patronising and unhelpful. In time, I decided to seek a second opinion and it was this which has been the best thing I have ever done!
The new psychiatrist could not have been any more understanding. Up to this point I had never been able to take mental health medication, due to having a physical health issue, taking tablets made me really ill.
It was suggested I try them in oral solution (medicine) form instead. I have been on them since last September and the difference they have made to my mental health is amazing. Don't get me wrong, they are no cure, but they are helping me greatly. If you are really struggling at the moment but are not on mental health meds, then I would strongly urge you to seriously consider trying them.
I have also met a new psychologist and am pleased to report how lovely this healthcare professional is too. I have had four assessment appointments now and am just about to embark on treatment.
This is the best chance I have ever had of getting better. I feel so encouraged and hopeful about the future now. Hope is what continues to spur me on. I am only at the start of the hopefully getting better journey, but I feel like this is the start of me finally getting my life back.
Believe in hope because it does work as I have proven. HOPE IS WHAT KEEPS ME ALIVE!
Do you believe in hope as much as Andy? Has it had a life-changing effect on your life? If not, what is the 'thing' that keeps you alive? Let us know in the comments below.
If you'd like to find out more about OCD, please take a look at our guide.