Men Tell Their Stories

Some Alone Time

I'm Ben, I'm a musician known for songs depicting all sides of both loving and unloving relationships. I write about the role of modern man in society; whether that's of a father, a lover, a hated ex, a celebrated human being or that of the simple soul-searching mortal, it forms the focus of my music

My song Alone began as an attempt to write something different, something which musically didn’t resemble the other songs I had written to that point. Looking back it was one of the first songs I wrote about being a man and a man’s state of well-being and it was inspired by the stories I was beginning to notice in the newspapers at that time.

There seemed to be an increasing number of reports about men killing themselves, and even their own children and family and I began to ask myself why this was the case?

I looked at my own experience and found an honest answer to the question of whether I could understand that this happens. The answer was simply “yes, I could”.

I noticed that for years, I myself had struggled to find ways out of difficult situations – situations where I risked hurting someone – my partner – if I explained my true feelings. I had registered the need in me to be alone, be on my own, be without family, be without my partner, live at my own pace and rhythm, but I also noticed how scared I was to express this wish.

I also noticed there were situations everyday which demanded of me to be honest about my feelings. To be honest would be to change something, to show my feelings, to say what I think. Instead I would hide the truth and find other ways to avoid moments, people, situations which put me under pressure. This I believe is a form or a cause of depression.

If I was truly happy with myself, truly accepting of me, then I wouldn’t have to hide these parts from the rest of the world. I would face the people and explain my point of view. That’s why I started to look around me and notice that the whole world is full of men hiding, finding ways to avoid the situation. Some get drunk every day, some fail to wash, others hang round with dogs in parks all day and generally look scary. Some work 15 hours each day..and others kill themselves or their family.

The song above, called “Alone”, always leaves a mark on the audiences, and I usually sing it as the very last song in my set because the message is understood by everyone. I can feel the tension rise in the room on each and every occasion, especially when I talk about the song beforehand.

After one concert a guy came up and seemed obsessed with what I had said. I had simply stated that I too had experienced such thoughts of killing someone to escape a situation. No more, no less. He couldn’t grasp that (he too, certainly) we all have these thoughts. Thoughts come and go and tell us about our state of mind – our state of well being. The thoughts we express in words help us more than we can imagine.


Ben covers an incredibly difficult and powerful subject in his music. What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Can you relate to Ben's experiences? Let us know in the comments below.

You can keep up-to-date with Ben via his website at www.benmeech.net. You can also follow him on Twitter, where he's @Redthebluemusic, on Facebook, on BandCamp and you can hear more of Ben's music on his YouTube channel

For those interested in supporting Ben's work, a crowdfunding site is up which lasts until the 9th April 2017 over at www.indiegogo.com