mental health, Sick, Blog

Sleep Yourself Better

(Originally published 18 Aug 2013)

That was a saying my late Nana used to use when anyone in the family was poorly.  My nana died when I was about 11 or 12 (42 now) so I don't remember that much about her, but I do remember that.  It's a phrase I've taken with me through my life.  Going to bed and getting better while you sleep seems like such an easy notion, of course it isn't always that easy, unfortunately.

It's been a few days (well a little more than that to be truthful) since I last did a blog post, although it's not for the want of trying.  I've been quite ill this past week which has caused more issues than just the illness itself.  My poor mental health is a result of being quite ill a few years ago and not coping with neither the illness nor recovery (for recovery...read 'aftermath') very well.  The health anxieties I've got, on top of all the other 'stuff', really came to the fore.  I've grown to associate every new ailment with my previous illness, in turn increasing its meaning, severity and every possible escalation into the worst possible scenario through to a full blown reoccurrence.  Thing is, my wires really struggle to look objectively at it.  I get that feeling that "I just know I'm right, its definitely coming back".  I'm not talking about the stereotypical 'man flu' and requiring to be pampered, I just go to bed til I'm better remember, but how anxiety can take over the rational you.  Because of my history I REALLY struggle to go to the Doctor, but I did it...eventually.  That might not sound like a big deal but trust me, it is.  I did a sample, got some antibiotics and now await the results.  My head says one thing, my heart says another.  The problem is it's a toss up IBS, Crohn's Disease and Bowel Cancer, and I don't even really know what Crohn's Disease is but I'm almost convinced I've got it and who knows me better than me, huh?  God help me!

I feel better now (thanks for not even asking), I'm not 100% but I'm getting there thanks to a very caring, understanding and patient wife and lots of staying in bed.  One bright note was that I did discover 'The Thick of It' on Netflix.  Very funny.