Anxiety, Depression

Head in the Clouds

(Originally published 8 Oct 2013)

I've had so many chaotic 'ideas' going around this mixed up head of mine lately that I've find myself so concerned about what to write first, I've ended up not writing anything.  Well, not on here anyway.  I've always got my book around so a few scribbled lines go in there so I don't forget it but then I have so much in there it just stays there.  I'm REALLY going to try writing more on here....no wait....come back!

I've had a couple of rough days lately.  I had a nice Saturday; buying a table and chairs, playing with my son and going to my sisters for tea.  Sounds dull.  Felt great.  Sunday was very different.  I felt like I was at odds with the world from the minute I woke up.  It's not unheard of, but it's been a while since it was to that extreme.  It's a horrible feeling not just for me, but everyone around me.  Nothing seems to be able to shake the dark clouds that surround me.  I just feel like I don't want them shifting, they're a seemingly immovable force as far as I'm concerned.  My family try but it's a futile attempt on their part.  They end up with the harsh, overly silent, irritable end of my stick.  It's like my thoughts can't pierce the outer shell of the dark cloud, try as they might to meet the sunshine that can't be that far away.  What goes on in my head in the night that means I wake up that way?  Why doesn't it happen every night?  Why does it happen at all?  Answers on a postcard.

I'll tell you how bad it was...I didn't watch any episodes of Breaking Bad.  Now that's serious.